


Where the Storm Meets the Ground

by StrawberryNightmare



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Adorable Russian Scientist Being Adorable, Alexei can't die because that's just too mean, Cutesy, F/M, Lady Agent, Slow Burn Is My Favorite
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-07-09 12:01:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19887397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrawberryNightmare/pseuds/StrawberryNightmare
Summary: FBI Special Agent Laurie Miller is heading into her final six years before she can retire and is looking for one last promotion to see her way. When she gets a call about an alleged Russian scientist showing up at paranoid Murray Bauman's house, Miller figures this is her chance to get that promotion. But what she finds at Murray's house will test her patience and her belief in what is real. Will she be able to help them get to Hawkins without shooting Hopper or Murray? Only time will tell.





	1. Tired of Waiting

She had been busy on a case in downtown St. Louis when her superior called in. Allegedly, an actual Russian scientist was at Murray Bauman’s house.

That _paranoid idiot_ had an actual Russian at his house.

She couldn’t believe it.

Laurie Miller had spent the past fourteen years in the FBI working undercover at various points in Russian organizations. One of her aunt’s had married a Russian man at the height of the Red Scare and before he got arrested and deported for no reason other than he was an intelligent Russian man, Laurie had learned enough Russian from him to know she wanted to learn more. She studied on her own and then took Russian all through University.

So when she joined the FBI at 22 with her International Relations and Russian Majors, they took her straight away and put her undercover whenever they could. She mostly worked translating communications.

And now here she was, on the way to the house of one of the most paranoid people she had had the misfortune to come across. She and Murray had met a couple of times before and each time was a misery for her. Laurie just couldn’t stand paranoid people.

They sucked all of the fun out of everything.

The drive from St. Louis to Sesser was annoying long and although Laurie knew she wasn’t going to like was at the end of this trip, she was sort of looking forward to it. She had only six more years before she could retire and if she could get at least one more promotion, she would be set up fairly nicely in her retirement. Getting her hands on a legit Russian scientist would almost certainly guarantee her a promotion.

And maybe this would finally get Murray off her radar.

It was after lunch by the time Laurie finally pulled into Murray’s “driveway”. She had never been to his home/bunker, but unbeknownst to him, she, and the FBI, had always known where he lived.

But Murray was a headache, not an actual problem.

Laurie put her car in park and turned it off. She sat there for a moment, the air turning off and feeling the heat penetrate into the car. Her job was fairly quiet; Laurie never saw much action and she preferred it that way. She sighed, grabbed her suit jacket off the passenger’s seat, and got out of the car. She gave herself a minute to put the jacket on and straighten herself up before walking up to the metal door. Nothing like pretending like she wasn’t sweating to a disgusting degree.

Laurie banged loudly on the door and waited, the sun beating down on her.

“Uhh…is that-is that you, Miller?” Murray said a minute later, clearly annoyed and surprised by her presence.

“Open the fucking door Murray; it’s hot as fuck out here. My hairspray will only hold for so long.”

Nothing happened.

“MURRAY!” she yelled. The drive from St. Louis had clearly annoyed her more than she expected. Her jaw clenched as the anger and annoyance rolled through her.

A moment of hesitation and then a buzzing sound and the door began to open. Laurie let herself in.

“Special Agent Miller, was it?” Murray said, stopping her just inside the doorway. He was stalling her. She tried not to grimace at the ugly jean shorts he was wearing and the white tank top, but she was certain she made some sort of face.

“Very good, Murray. You remember me. It’s been what, two years? Look at you, still paranoid as fuck.” Laurie smiled sweetly.

“Um, so...um, you know where I live?” he asked, genuinely confused and she could hear the paranoia coming out.

“Wait… _Laurie_?” a deep voice called from another room.

Laurie turned, remembering that voice, but trying to recall from the depths of her memory of who the voice belonged to.

Her heart dropped when she recognized the man coming out from a room in the depths of Murray’s bunker.

“Fucking hell...Jim?” Her heart began to beat quickly in her chest. It just couldn’t be?

“Uh, wait, you two know each other?” Murray said, standing too closely to Laurie.

She groaned and smacked him in his chest with the palm of her hand, not even looking at him. She heard what sounded like him hitting the ground and Jim frowned at her, disappointed, but Laurie didn’t care.

“Laurie,” he admonished her.

Jim Hopper. The asshole had been her brother-in-law for about eight years, in what seemed like another lifetime. The last time she had seen him was sometime in ’78 before Jim and her sister had divorced. Not long after their daughter died.

“Fucking hell, Jim, what are you doing at fucking Murray Bauman’s house?”

He gulped somewhat nervously, putting his hands on his hips over a ridiculously ugly floral shirt. “Well, what are you doing at fucking Murray Bauman’s house?” he shot back at her.

Laurie narrowed her eyes at him angrily. “I’m fucking FBI, Jim. I’m doing my job. What are you doing here?”

“Still in the FBI, huh, Laurie? That’s good. That’s great! How long has it been?”

“JIM!” she yelled. What was it with men today?

He jumped slightly and shrugged. “It’s a long story, Laurie.”

She sighed, her shoulders dropping. “Jim, for fuck’s sake man. It’s been a long day for me. Where’s the Russian?” she asked, skipping to the point.

He looked slightly surprised. “Rus-russian? What Russian? Murray speaks Russian.”

Laurie sighed loudly and threw herself into the nearest chair. “I’m so fucking tired, Jim. I _know_ there was a Russian here at some point.” She slammed her eyes shut, squeezing them tightly to try and block out everything. “Just please, somebody tell me what’s going on.”

“Uh, well, there maybe was a Russian here, but not anymore,” Murray said, almost convincingly.

“Then why is Jim still here?”

“Just…talking.”

“You know Murray, I’m pretty sure I could shoot you and get away with it.”

Silence hung in the air for a moment. “I need you to promise to listen first,” Jim said, apparently walking further into the room.

Laurie thought about threatening him too, but a vision of his daughter, her niece, bald and dying in the hospital, crossed her mind. So Laurie sat up in the chair and opened her eyes. “Alright Jim, tell me what’s going on. I promise not to shoot Murray until after you tell me what’s going on.”

She waited as Jim took a seat on the couch in front of her and began to talk. Laurie listened to this complicated tale about Russians and a gate and a mall and on and on. She tried to keep her face neutral as her ex-brother-in-law spoke. The Red Scare had long been trumped up. Yes, there was a problem, but the problem was two-sided. Laurie had seen this plenty in her time in the FBI. America was not an innocent bystander in this.

But a gate that led to another dimension? Monsters? It was too much.

“…and that’s why we took Smirnoff…”

“ALEXEI!” a woman shouted from another room. Laurie startled at the sound. She knew there was a Russian here, but another woman too?

“And I can tell you don’t believe me,” Jim finished, slapping his hands on his legs.

Laurie smiled softly. “I do believe you,” she said, lying. “Especially because you have this Russian here and I _think_ I know you.” Truth was, Laurie wanted to believe him. But the last time she had seen Jim, he had been depressed and knee deep in a drinking problem. “So, Jim, let’s go ahead and bring the Russian out and I’ll see what he has to say. Okay?”

Jim hesitated.

“I need you to trust me, Jim. _Please_.”

After another moment of hesitation, Jim nodded. “Joyce,” he called out, presumably to the woman who had yelled at him.

Laurie turned to watch as a young man in a dirty white shirt walked out of a room with an older woman. The guy looked fairly young with big gold glasses and curly hair. His clothes seemed slightly big for him, making her wonder if he had lost weight working hard or if the Russians just hadn’t tried to give him good clothes? Laurie tried to keep her face neutral. 

Murray and Jim didn’t know that Laurie spoke Russian. A side-effect of working for the FBI meant she tried to keep as much possible close to the chest. One run-in with Murray had her completely pretend to not understand Russian, so today was going to be interesting.

The Russian walked through the room timidly, not meeting Laurie’s eyes. He sat next to Murray on one of the couches, avoiding Jim. The woman, Joyce, sat next to Jim.

Laurie smiled at Joyce. “Hi, I’m Laurie.”

“I’m Joyce. Hop and I went to high school together,” she said, volunteering information that Laurie hadn’t asked for.

Laurie looked at Jim, smirking. “Of course.”

“Our kids are friends,” he added and seemed to immediately regret that.

“Kid? Oh?” She cocked her head.

“This probably isn’t the time,” he said softly, wanting to avoid the topic, particularly, Laurie was sure, with her.

“No, probably not,” Laurie agreed, shaking her head. She leaned forward slightly on her knees. “But we’re going to talk, Jim.” She turned her attention to the Russian scientist, trying to relax her body language and she smiled softly at the young man. “Hi.”

He smiled timidly at her, looking at Jim first.

“Alexei, is it?”

He nodded silently.

“Well, introduce me, Murray.”

Murray turned to Alexei and began speaking in Russian. “ _This is Special Agent Laurie Miller with the FBI. She can be trusted, I’m pretty sure. Apparently, she and Hopper know each other._ ”

Alexei looked over at her when he mentioned the FBI in concern, but then looked back at Murray. “ _Can she help me defect?_ ”

Murray shrugged. “ _Probably._ ” He looked at Laurie. “If he helps us stop this disaster, can you help him defect?”

Laurie considered it. If this thing was actually happening, if there really was some crazy plot with the Russians and some gate, then his help would be quite beneficial. “I’m sure something can be worked out.”

“If this is real, you mean,” Jim interrupted.

She tried not to roll her eyes. “Jim,” Laurie said quietly, looking over at her former brother-in-law. “I told you I believe you.”

“And yet,” he said, “I know that tone of voice.”

“Oh, do you?” she snapped. Laurie stood up from the couch, towering over Jim, fully knowing if he stood up he would tower far over her. She leaned over slightly, glaring at him. “I’ll fucking shoot you,” she whispered in menacing voice, fully meaning her threat. She hadn’t forgotten how Jim had lost it after Sara’s death, how he had left Diane alone in her grief. Laurie hadn’t forgotten any of it. “The FBI won’t care.”

Laurie wasn’t usually this angry, but the combination of a long drive, the Red Scare, Murray, and running into Jim had combined to make her utterly miserable and irritable.

Jim regarded her carefully for a minute before nodding. “That I believe.”

“Good, then shut your fucking mouth,” she snapped again. She waited as Jim’s eyes went wide and then he leaned back in the couch. Behind her, Murray had been translating for Alexei, adding a little bit of exaggeration, she noticed.

“Uh, I’m guessing there’s some back story here?” Joyce said, looking between Laurie and Jim.

“A little,” Laurie admitted as she sat back down. She looked back at Alexei. The man was regarding her cautiously, but she could also see the telltale sign of respect. Laurie had a feeling, based on Jim calling him Smirnoff instead of his name, that Jim hadn’t been very nice to Alexei. She wanted to talk to him in Russian, to try to tell him she was, if he was being sincere, on his side. “Alexei, tell me what’s going on.” She gazed over at Murray. “And be sure to translate correctly. I want his side of the story, not yours.”

Murray nodded and spoke to Alexei. Alexei took a deep breath and began his story, of working on the key in Russia before coming to America to work on the key in Hawkins. Laurie listened carefully, tuning out Murray’s pointless translations, while also trying to pretend she needed his translations. The kid at least did a better job of convincing Laurie that this stuff was actually happening.

Or maybe her hatred of Jim was clouding her biases.

“ _I can help them turn it off. I will help them turn it off,_ ” Alexei finished.

Laurie waited for Murray to finish his translation and then she smiled and nodded. Laurie sat back in her chair and closed her eyes, arms crossed across her chest.

First things first, should she punch Jim in the face?

Maybe, if an appropriate situation came up.

Second, did she believe this?

Well, it was kind of easy to believe that the Russians were plotting something in America, but a gate to another dimension? That seemed a little farfetched.

But was it really like Jim to believe in something so insane?

It had been seven years since her niece Sara Hopper had died from cancer. Her death had destroyed Jim and Laurie’s sister Diane, unsurprisingly. Laurie was able to get transferred to New York to be close to her sister and give Diane any support she could in Sara’s last months. Even before Sara died, Jim had begun drinking. He was good enough to not drink before going to the hospital to see Sara, but at night, Laurie noticed him drinking a lot.

It got worse after her death and it took about a year for Diane to decide to leave Jim, something that had been difficult for her to do.

In the almost ten years that Laurie knew Jim, she had never known him to believe in crazy things. He believed in what he could see.

So the fact that he was peddling this to her did make her pause.

But what if Jim had changed? What if his alcoholism led to him believing crazy stories?

Third, what _could_ she do about the Russian?

If she believed this story, then she had to ask herself if Alexei actually wanted to help.

And if he wanted to help, then she had to ask herself if she could help him defect. She had done that for three other Russians over the past ten years. It wasn’t beyond the realm of what she could do as an FBI Agent.

“Um-” Joyce started to say, but somebody shushed her.

Laurie took another deep breath and let it out slowly. She had to make a choice, here and now.

She opened her eyes and sat back up and looked at Alexei, really looking at him. It was usually impossible to judge a person based on a first interaction, but he seemed sincere. He was a dangerous man, but perhaps he also seemed like he did want to help.

So she’d let him help.

“Let’s do this, then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so tired of waiting, waiting for the one  
> Who's gonna show me the way  
> So tired of waiting  
> Everything I want is a place to stay
> 
> There will be laughter  
> Don't make it go away  
> You hold disaster  
> It's time to move on  
> It's time to look for something new


	2. Before Dawn

The smile Alexei gave her when she said she’d help was enough to probably melt her cold heart. He was an adorable kid. She wasn’t sure why she kept calling him kid. Maybe it was her way of distancing herself from the adorable, curly haired genius sitting on the couch near her.

Kind of hard to believe he was capable of ending the world, or at least Hawkins. 

“Okay, great, so where do we start? What do _you_ recommend miss Special Agent?” Jim said sarcastically.

Laurie felt her warming heart turn to ice again but she bit back an angry comment. Now wasn’t the time to delve into their past and certainly not in front of Murray or Alexei. She did want to sit down with Jim and talk, but there was the pressing matter of impending doom.

“Oh yes!” Joyce said excitedly, ignoring the obvious contempt in Jim’s voice. “You’re in the FBI, you can get agents or the military or whomever to come help, right?”

Laurie grimaced. “Um…probably not?” she said, listening to Murray translate in the background.

Joyce’s face fell. “Why not? The Russians are trying to kill us!”

“Yeah, but…it’s going to take a while to convince my superiors and they’re going to want more evidence than Alexei, your, forgive me for saying, paranoid delusions, and some drawings on whopper wrappers,” she said honestly and she tried to use a soft voice. “I believe you, but convincing the FBI proper is a different story. We frankly don’t have time for that. Sorry.”

Joyce looked disappointed and Laurie didn’t blame her. She had kids in Hawkins, a life. Russians opening a gate and unleashing some monster, or even if they just blew up the city, wasn’t good.

“But don’t worry. I’m good with a gun,” Laurie joked, winking at Joyce. The older woman managed a weak smile.

“We’ll call Owens. He can get the military,” Jim said, matter-of-factly.

“Who the fuck is Owens?” Laurie asked, looking at Jim.

“Dr. Owens. Works for the Department of Energy. He was involved in some stuff last year in Hawkins. He gave me a number to call if we needed help.”

Laurie threw up her hands as anger began to course through her. The Department of Energy? A conspiracy and cover up in Hawkins? All of it was too much in too short of time. “The fucking Department of Energy can call in the fucking military?” she yelled. “I fucking hate this government! Fucking kill me,” she muttered as she stood up from the chair. “Fucking Russians and monsters and now the Department of Energy was doing experiments? I mean,” she muttered to herself angrily as she stalked around Murray’s sad excuse for a living room. “Six years. I’m so close.” Laurie balled up her fists and ground her teeth together. “I’m gonna die in fucking Hawkins!”

“Uh, Laurie?” Jim said from the couch. “Are you okay?”

“AM I OKAY?” she yelled as she rounded on the group. “This is insane, Jim! MONSTERS? ANOTHER DIMENSION? What the fuck!” Alexei, though not understanding what she was saying, looked terrified at her outburst. His eyes went wide and he leaned away from her, though she was nowhere near him. Murray looked somewhat baffled.

“Oh no, she’s freaking out,” Joyce said, her motherly instinct seeming to come out. She stood up from the other couch, trying to appear calming and kind. “Laurie, it’s okay. Go ahead, freak out.”

“Wait-what? No, she shouldn’t freak out!” Jim yelled. “She needs to calm down!”

“She needs to freak out, Hop! We’ve had years of this stuff, she’s found out all of this insanity today in like an hour! Let her freak out. She’ll be fine.”

Laurie wanted to scream. She wanted to hit something. All of these years she had carefully crafted a career that was leading to one end point. She did her job, and did it well, she didn’t make enemies at the FBI (though there was always some man that thought women shouldn’t be Agents, let alone field agents), and she kept her cover. When she hit 20 years she would retire and find some lazy job that didn’t require going undercover or spending days researching whatever or investigating. Just lazy days.

But this? This could ruin her plans. Maybe she’d die today. Maybe she’d go to prison for killing Jim. Maybe this Russian would ruin everything.

Laurie spun on her heels to look at Alexei, trying to figure out if she had made the right decision to help him. He looked helpless; looked like a young man that knew nothing and could help no one. And yet…yet he was a Doctor and a scientist and dangerous.

What if he was playing them all? Using his boyish looks to lull them into a false sense of security?

Yet, as Laurie stared him down, furiously glaring at the Russian man, he continued to look terrified and she felt like she could see through him. Her initial thought of helping may be the correct choice.

And who would she be if she walked away?

_I hate you_ , Laurie thought to herself as she looked at Murray, blaming him for the fact she was here and involved. “Alright, I’m fine,” she said tersely. Letting her hands relax, Laurie felt her shoulders drop. “So, you can call the _fucking Department of Energy_ , which is fucking insane, but okay. Make the call and then we go to Hawkins. We’ll take Alexei to Starcourt Mall, we’ll infiltrate the Russian’s underground bunker, shut off the key and _the Department of Energy_ can arrest the Russians. Okay?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Jim said, still reeling from her freak out. He stood up and walked over to Laurie. “How about we speak outside first?” he suggested in a quiet voice.

Laurie almost said no, but she nodded instead. The pair headed outside, leaving Joyce with Murray and Alexei. As the heavy bunker door shut behind them, Jim quickly rounded on Laurie.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he said, a little angrier than the sentence would imply.

“I’m _fine_ , Jim.”

“That didn’t sound fine,” he said, pointing back to the house. “That sounded like you don’t want to be here.”

“Right, and you do? Fuck off.” Laurie waved him off and walked around him, absentmindedly walking around the driveway. “It’s just not how I envisioned this little visit going.”

“Lore, listen, you could just walk away.”

It was her turn to round on Jim, her jaw clenched angrily. “I should punch you for that. This is my job, Jim! I can’t just walk away and then lie to my boss! I’m not putting my job on the line for _you_ ,” she said angrily, poking him in the chest. “ _You_ aren’t worth that.”

Jim looked hurt, frowning deeply. “I don’t want you to do something you don’t believe in. _I_ believe in this.”

She rolled her eyes. “I work for the FBI, Jim. That’s nothing new.” She sighed. “A kid?” she questioned.

He shrugged. “El…she needed a family.”

Laurie narrowed her eyes at him, noticing his shirt was floral but actually had fucking flamingos on it? She shook her head. It wasn’t that Jim had been a bad dad or husband, but the way he was when she last saw him…it perhaps had clouded her overall view of him. “Are you happy?” she asked after a moment.

He crossed his arms and his body seemed to tense. “Its tough work being the father of a teenage girl,” he admitted.

Laurie chuckled. “I remember those days. Diane, Emily, and I were assholes, for sure. Our poor parents.” She smiled as she remembered all of the times all three girls snuck out of the house in high school. Emily was always the worst at it, somehow managing to knock over something or shut the window too loudly. The memories faded away and she softened towards Jim. “I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think. If you treat her like a prisoner she’ll never forgive you. Set boundaries but let her live, Jim. There’s nothing wrong with her making mistakes. You can’t protect her from everything.”

Jim stared at her for a moment before nodding. “I just know teenage boys.”

Laurie smirked. “But do you know El?” she questioned.

He nodded. “I think so.”

“Then _let her live_.” Laurie tapped Jim lightly on his arm. “You look like shit, by the way. Take a shower.”

He narrowed his eyes at her. “You stopped dying your hair,” he commented.

“Too much upkeep. I’m getting lazy in my old age.”

He guffawed loudly. “Yeah, 35 is just so old.”

“36, actually, but I’m touched you were close.”

Jim chuckled, rubbing his hand over his beard. “You happy, Lore?” he asked after a minute of silence.

She smiled largely. “Nope.” She winked and turned on her heel to go back into the house. Happiness, her sometimes partner Agent Floyd Tomlinson always said, was a fleeting emotion meant to placate people into a boring life with a white picket fence and a spouse that barely tolerated you. Nobody was ever really happy and there wasn’t anything wrong with that.

When Laurie walked back into the Murray’s sad attempt at a living room (finally noticing the dozens of TVs on one of the walls, stacked precariously) she was shocked to see that Alexei had curled up on one of the couches, already asleep. He had taken off his glasses and set them on the table with his pocket protector. Without his glasses, sleeping, he looked older. She looked over at Joyce in confusion. The woman shrugged and then walked over to the far side of the living room where Murray was leaning against a desk.

Laurie and Jim joined the other two, curious what they had planned.

“Now,” Joyce said, picking up Murray’s phone and shoving it into Jim’s chest, “call Owens.”

Laurie was still confused by the whole Department of Energy thing, but she figured she could unpack that later, presumably when she meets this Dr. Owens.

Jim quickly dialed the number as Murray hovered close by, Joyce by his side. Laurie stood away from them, watching the comical scene in front of them.

“Two minutes, Jim. It’s a secure line but anything long than that and they can trace you,” Murray said, the paranoia coming back out.

“Yeah, I want them to trace me,” Jim replied.

“What?” Murray said. Even Laurie was surprised. This was going to upset Murray, big time.

Laurie watched, the scene growing more comical by the second as Jim stumbled through the conversation, not prepared to give an identification name. He got off the phone, casually heading into the living room to sit on the free couch, lighting up a cigarette. Murray had fallen into a chair, giving up on everything.

But Joyce was not happy. She snapped at Jim.

“How are you so calm?”

“I’m not calm!” he said through a cigarette.

This is the best day of my life, Laurie thought, enjoying the whole scenario. She kept quiet as Joyce now took the phone and called back the number that Jim had just called. Joyce started off calmly, but the person on the other end had clearly insulted her in some way because she suddenly went off, yelling at the person on the other end of the phone.

Laurie stood, arms crossed, watching Joyce scream into the phone. She grimaced, pulling her neck muscles taut deciding then and there she would never get on the woman’s bad side. Curious, Laurie turned around to see that Alexei was still deep asleep. She figured the Russian probably had learned to get sleep whenever he could, even when things, or people, were being loud around him. It was a talent that Laurie had never really learned.

She turned back to Joyce as she finished yelling at the poor soul on the other end of the phone. She slammed the phone back onto the receiver and set the phone down on the table. Poor Murray looked absolutely distraught at what had just transpired, sitting bewildered in a chair, hands up in the air.

Clearing her throat, Laurie leaned closer to Murray. “I guess I’m not going to need to delete your address from the FBI database, huh?” she whispered.

Murray pushed himself up from the chair, grunted in her face, and then turned away, walking away from the group. Laurie was left, smiling awkwardly. They were a delightful little group.

“How long have you known his address?” Jim asked, momentarily ignoring his annoyance at Joyce.

“It took a few months, but we’ve known for almost as long as he’s lived here,” she admitted.

Jim seemed almost impressed, apparently believing that Murray was some master at staying hidden. He just wasn’t a priority for the FBI. They weren’t worried about him. “Wow. I-”

“Hopper!” Joyce yelled, pushing between Jim and Laurie. “We’re leaving!” she ordered them, heading straight for Alexei.

“Aww, let the kid sleep a little longer, Joyce!” Laurie heard herself saying. Her heart seized in her chest. What was wrong with her?

Joyce stopped, standing over Alexei’s sleeping body, looking over at Laurie. Jim turned slowly, looking at her in confusion.

“I’m sure you’re all tired,” she added awkwardly, trying to hide from this growing concern for the Russian. “We really have to leave now?” she asked.

Joyce nodded angrily. “ _Yeah_. We’ve got to get to our kids.”

“Well, then. Maybe…you could just let him sleep until we’re actually leaving?” Laurie suggested softly.

“Why are you so concerned?” Jim questioned. Laurie could hear the accusation in his voice.

“Because... _Jim_ , he’s the genius. So let him sleep so he can be on his A game. Ya know?” She hoped she was convincing. She certainly didn’t want him to sleep because he looked so cute sleeping.

That definitely wasn’t it.

Joyce and Jim exchanged a look before Jim shrugged. Joyce threw her hands up in the air, but moved away from the sleeping Russian. Laurie took a seat in the chair next to the couch, staring decidedly at the smattering of notes on the table and not at the sleeping Russian. One page grabbed her attention. She pulled it closer on the table and stared down at the few words of Russian on the page.

It looked to be the final page of notes and Alexei, presumably had ended it by writing “Destroy the machine and then I can live the American dream.”

Laurie smiled sadly before looking over at the sleeping Russian. She had helped three Russians defect before and she hadn’t liked them. She had barely trusted them, but the FBI had wanted to take the risk. Alexei, however, was one that Laurie might actually trust. He might actually benefit American society.

Yeah, she was definitely going to help him.

And it definitely had nothing to do with him being cute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bridges burned upon a troubled sea  
> Will I ever learn what longing does to me  
> Fingers crossed I never caused no harm  
> It's the third time now  
> They say its a charm
> 
> It's the darkest hour right before dawn  
> It's the darkest hour right before the dawn
> 
> Fingers crossed the magic man was right  
> If you follow hearts you will get through the night  
> Cold is cold  
> The dark is dark  
> Will I ever live to mend a broken heart


	3. Honesty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I forgot to mention on Chapter 1 (I'll go back and add it to the notes) but the italics in dialogue are Russian.

A minute later, Murray took a seat on the couch opposite from Alexei. “Have you ever helped anyone defect before?” he asked quietly, staring at the sleeping Alexei. Laurie stared at his jean shorts, still unnerved. _Nobody_ looked good in cutoff jean shorts.

“A few Russians. A few Germans. A Cuban once.”

“And Alexei?”

Laurie looked over at the kid. “He’s one of the better cases I’ve come across. The others…the Russians certainly, it was obvious they did it because they had no other choice. Alexei…I don’t know, I know Jim thinks Alexei didn’t have a choice, but he’s smart. He could have come up with something to convince the General that he hadn’t talked. I guess it depends on what this General is like. But regardless, he seems sincere.”

“Yeah, you know me, I have no love for the Soviets,” Murray stated.

She gazed back at the balding man. “But this kid…”

He nodded, smiling softly. “Like you said, he seems sincere.” Murray suddenly narrowed his eyes as he turned to look at her. “So how do _you_ know Jim?” he asked.

“He was married to my sister,” she told him. “Haven’t seen him in years.”

Murray seemed to put two and two together. “His daughter was your niece?”

Laurie nodded sadly. “Yeah. So…” she trailed off, rubbing her hands together. It was never easy to talk about Sara. Diane never even mentioned her anymore, not that Laurie blamed her sister. She was kind of surprised to find that Murray knew. How long had he known Jim?

Joyce popped up behind Murray. “Let’s go!” she said loudly, her nerves on edge so much that it was obvious Joyce was about to burst. She obviously was really worried about her kids and the situation in general.

Laurie nodded, waving her hands at Joyce. “I’ll get the kid,” she said. “Murray,” she said tossing her car keys at the man as she stood up, “get my bag from my trunk, will you? Bring it here.” 

The man almost glared at her, but chose not to fight it. Instead grumpily pushing himself up from the couch and heading for the front door. Laurie looked around and saw that Joyce and Jim had left the room as well. She cautiously moved around the table. Waking up men, in her experience, was hit or miss. Some men would wake up like any normal human being, while others were violent. Laurie had dated a guy briefly, who was a fellow FBI Agent, that if he was startled awake would wake up swinging. She had gotten a few “accidental” black eyes from him and she was now forever nervous about waking men up.

Taking a deep breath, and reminding herself that she’s a fucking FBI Agent, Laurie leaned over and gently touched Alexei’s shoulder.

“Alyosha?” she said in a quiet, but firm voice.

He immediately awoke, his head whipping around and his hands flying up to his chest as if to protect himself. “ _What’s going on?_ ”

“Time to go,” Laurie said, pointing as the watch on her wrist and then miming leaving the house. She smiled, nodding encouragingly, wishing she could tell him in Russian.

He seemed to understand, pushing himself up on the couch as Laurie moved away.

“This bag?” Murray questioned, walking back into the makeshift living room. She looked over at him and nodded.

“Indeed.” 

“ _What’s in the bag?_ ” Alexei asked, putting his glasses on.

Murray repeated the question in English, holding the bag out to Laurie. She walked around the table and took it, setting on the other couch and unzipping it. “Safety precautions,” she answered as she pulled out two bullet proof vests. She held them up, looking between Murray and Alexei. “If we want Alexei to defect, then we gotta keep him alive, no? Since there’s some psycho terminator Russian after him, he’ll wear this horribly uncomfortable thing and if we’re lucky, the Russian won’t go for the head.”

“ _She says you’ll wear this and that way she can keep you alive. She wants to keep you safe so you can defect,_ ” Murray translated, leaving out the part about Alexei getting shot in the head.

Laurie smiled widely at Alexei, nodding. He slowly nodded in return, not looking thrilled. “Once we get to Hawkins, you’ll put it on,” she added. Murray translated and this seemed to make Alexei a little happier. She didn’t blame him. They were awfully uncomfortable to wear, but a vest had saved her life on three different occasions. She hoped it wouldn’t come to it, but if it did, she wanted to keep Alexei alive. “Great! Let’s go!” Laurie packed her bag back up, putting the vests on top of her extra sets of clothes and the two other handguns and boxes of ammo in the bottom of the bag. She also pulled her holster off her waist, preferring not to be sitting in a car for hours with a gun attached to her hip. It went on top of the vests, sitting where she could easily grab it if necessary.

Alexei was the first to leave and Laurie stopped packing her bag to watch him go, fear creeping in her mind about what the night might bring. It wasn’t going to be an easy feat to break into a secret Russian lair. What if somebody died? What if Alexei died after helping them save the town, and possibly the world?

“You okay?” Murray asked, having collected all of Alexei’s drawings and notes.

Laurie nodded, zipping the bag shut. “I just always get worried before a mission,” she said, looking at him. She noticed the fear that slowly crept over his face and Laurie found herself feeling about mentioning it. “But I’ve survived so far, haven’t I?” she added, forcing a smile.

Murray didn’t look convinced. The pair left the house, Murray locking his bunker home behind them. Laurie stopped, watching Alexei climb into the backseat of the convertible. She hadn’t thought about what car they would be taking.

She was about to spend hours sitting next to the Russian kid. Laurie grimaced. Her emotions had been all over the place so far with him today and it had only been a couple of hours. What would a long car ride do to her feelings?

Sighing, Laurie walked over to the car. Alexei grinned up at her as she tossed her bag on the floor of the backseat and gracefully climbed over the side of the car, doing her best to not kick Alexei. Murray climbed in on the other side, Joyce having generously left the door open and the seat up so he could get in. Laurie glared at the back of Jim’s head as she sat in the seat.

“Everyone ready?” Jim asked as Joyce climbed in her seat and shut the door.

“Ready,” Laurie said, her voice monotone. She pressed herself close to the side of the car to avoid touching Alexei. She didn’t need anything to egg her on.

“Let’s go save the world.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A thousand songs  
> Can't describe  
> The hell I was fighting  
> Someone said  
> You're losing your head  
> And it won't be the last time
> 
> But I believe in honesty  
> It tends to show me who you really are  
> And I can see  
> It's the hardest road to follow  
> So come and show me who you really are  
> I wanna know just who you really are


	4. Pass for a Lonely Person

Laurie had not been thrilled to leave her car behind all the way in Sesser, but she had to admit that a.) going in a convertible was nice (even if it was obnoxiously called the Toddfather) and b.) she didn’t have to drive. Anytime she didn’t have to drive, she considered it a win.

Stuck in the insanely small backseat with Alexei and Murray, Laurie hated that she was scrunched in next to the Russian. She was still pretending to not know Russian and God it was tempting to start a conversation up with the kid, but she wanted to keep her ruse going, God knows why.

Oh, she knew why. She _was_ an asshole.

Turns out that this convertible was not meant to have three regular sized human beings sit in the backseat. Poor Alexei was squished between Murray and Laurie, his shoulders uncomfortably pulled forward with his hands sitting in between his legs. Laurie was certain Alexei was leaning away from her.

She wondered why. Did he not like her or did he just not want to be rude by touching her?

Though she knew it was hypocritical of her to think that since she had pulled herself all the way over to the side so she wouldn’t have to touch him. But she knew why she didn’t want to touch him. She was clearly too into him.

Laurie considered playing with him but spreading out her legs to touch his, maybe pretending to be sleepy and laying against his shoulder slightly, but she chose to be good and instead she chuckled to herself and looked out of the car to her left, watching the landscape fly by.

“ _This car was not made for so many,_ ” Alexei complained to Murray. “ _I feel like I’m sitting on her. Is she comfortable?_ ”

Laurie smirked but then tried to cover it up, covering her mouth with a hand.

“Uh, Agent Miller,” Murray said loudly, both annoyed and amused by the Russian's concern. “Is he sitting on you? Do you have enough space?” 

“ _Please don't make it obvious when you ask!_ ” Alexei complained, probably reading into Murray's tone and body language.

Laurie looked over at the two men, noticing Joyce looking back at the trio. “You can let him know I have plenty of space. I’ve been in much more cramped situations than this.” She felt proud of herself for keeping her face very neutral, but did allow herself to wink at Joyce.

Alexei was looking at his hands, not looking at her. She wanted to nudge him, make him smile, but she had to admit that seeing him blush was cute too.

“ _She’s okay, Alexei. I don’t think she minds. She says she’s been in more cramped positions,_ ” Murray translated.

Finally, Alexei looked up and met her stare then blushed more, she was sure even if it was getting dark, and looked up at the sky, anywhere but her. Laurie looked over at Murray, giving him a confused look as if she didn’t know what was going. He shrugged.

“Russians?”

Laurie chuckled and looked back out her side of the car, a smile plastered on her face.

She wasn’t sure what it was about this kid that made her want to flirt or be silly. She was a 36-year-old woman, not a love struck teenager. Messing around with guys wasn’t a thing she did. Laurie had sort of given up on love a long time ago. While she didn’t do a lot of dangerous work, she was still busy. She had tried dating, but it just never worked. A lot of guys, particularly back in the 70s when she first joined the FBI, didn’t find it much of a turn on to date a Federal Agent.

Men were weak.

She had to flirt a bit undercover from time to time, but it had been a while since she was with a guy. Eventually, she just stopped getting the urge.

But there was something about this probably 20-something scientist that made her want to flirt, made her want to act like at least a young 20-something who twirled her hair and smiled sweetly at young men.

Too bad they were surrounded by three other people. Maybe if they were alone she would flirt.

Who was she kidding? She was too old to flirt with young men.

The smile fell off her face as she reminded herself of who she was. An almost 40-year-old FBI Agent with a job. She was here to keep an eye on the Russian and then, if he did help them stop this thing, then she would try to help him defect.

She wasn’t here to flirt with that same Russian scientist.

Laurie sighed sadly, her shoulders drooping.

It was fun while it lasted, she told herself.

“Murray, she sounds sad. Why is she sad?” she heard Alexei asked, trying to whisper, but with the wind he ended up saying it loudly enough for Laurie to hear. Not that anyone knew she could understand him.

“ _Why would I know? She’s in the FBI, maybe she’s thinking about some awful thing she’s had to do for her work? Maybe she’s thinking about how she’d rather be anywhere else than stuck in this car with the four of us on her way to Hawkins, Indiana. Who knows? Also, I’m not sure she gets sad. She’s kind of mean._ ”

“ _She’s not mean,_ ” she thought she heard Alexei say. “ _I know mean. She’s not mean._ ”

“ _Give her time,_ ” Murray snarked.

She almost gave up the goose and started talking to him in Russian. Instead, Laurie decided she’d allow herself a little indulgence. Fourteen years of being in the FBI, surely she deserved a few minutes to have fun? After all, this was a long fucking car ride. The sun was just starting to go down and there were still a couple more hours to go.

Laurie turned to face Alexei, her right leg smacking into his. He jumped slightly, pulling closely to Murray, but she didn’t let him. She wrapped her right arm under his left arm and tapped on his arm with her left hand.

“Alexei, do you know what today is?” she asked, loudly enough for Murray to hear.

Alexei looked over at Murray, panicked and confused. “ _What is she doing?_ ”

“ _She wants to know if you know what today is?_ ” Murray translated, shrugging.

“ _Today? What’s today?_ ” he asked, looking between Murray and Laurie. Murray shook his head at Laurie.

“No?” she said. “It’s the Fourth of July. Independence Day!” she said, tapping his arm, waiting for Murray to translate. 

Alexei nodded, smiling, relaxing into her touch ever so slightly. “ _Fourth of July. Right, big celebration!_ ”

“Fireworks? Have you ever seen fireworks?” she asked intently, suddenly very curious. She couldn’t remember if Russians ever had a holiday where they lit off fireworks. She had never actually been to Russia, for all of her knowledge of the language. She did have a severe lack of cultural understanding of the country and the people.

Murray translated and Alexei’s face lit up as he looked back at Laurie. “ _Oh yes! I love fireworks. I’m sure they’re better in America!_ ”

Laurie couldn’t help but smile at Alexei’s smile. He seemed so innocent despite his genius. It was cute. She listened as Murray translated back to her. She shrugged nonchalantly. “America’s not better at everything, Alexei. Don’t believe all the theatrics,” she admitted.

Murray seemed surprised, but he translated, and Laurie was happy to hear he translated accurately.

Alexei looked at her curiously, still smiling. “ _America is the land of the free. The American Dream!_ ” he said.

Murray translated, giving Laurie time to think about a response. She nodded, though she also grimaced. “It’s complicated, Alexei. The American Dream, I’m sure, is real. But look at this whole thing with the Russians; the Cold War. Over what? And for decades, everyone’s been so absolutely terrified of communism and Russians and it’s just…ridiculous. We’re just not perfect, that’s all.”

The car got quiet, except for the sound of the wind blowing past them. Alexei, realizing Laurie was done talking, looked at Murray.

“ _What did she say?_ ” he pushed.

“Oh, uh-,” Murray said before he began translating, trying to remember what she said. Laurie knew Murray didn’t completely agree. After all, he wasn’t paranoid for nothing. He believed, or at least he did before today, in the Red Scare and believed that America, for all of its faults, was better.

Laurie wasn’t sure she agreed much anymore. It was better than the U.S.S.R. in many ways, but to pretend as if the American Dream was real anymore…

She had seen too much to believe such a thing anymore.

She wished it was true, for Alexei’s sake. But could she pretend for him?

Once Murray had finished translating, Alexei’s head whipped around and he turned his body, putting his back to Murray (who grunted in annoyance). He had untangled his arm from hers and Laurie immediately missed the feeling, frowning as he moved back to face her in the back seat of the convertible.

“ _Why you do your job if you think the American Dream isn’t real? Why be in the FBI if you don’t see the freedom in what America offers?_ ” Alexei questioned, speaking quickly. His hands moved as he spoke; Laurie liked seeming him so worked up, so interested in the conversation.

Murray translated from behind Alexei, clearly annoyed that Alexei had moved in a way that kept Murray out of the conversation, though he was still needed.

She smiled softly and gently grasped Alexei’s hands in hers, staring deep into his hazel eyes beneath those silly gold glasses. “Because I want to. I want to be proud of my country. I want people to feel comfortable, to feel at home when they come here. I don’t want people to be afraid.” 

Murray, once again, translated word for word, though slightly missing some of Laurie’s emotions behind her words. She hoped Alexei would understand. She didn’t hate her country, but God…they weren’t the winners in this war. There were no winners.

How could anyone really _win_ a war?

Alexei nodded as Murray spoke. He had narrowed his eyes slightly as Murray translated, really looking at Laurie. She found herself lost in his eyes and everything around them slipped away.

What would it be like to just be with someone? To wake up every day with them there? To come home after work they’re there? To have someone to talk to, cuddle with? 

Even the serious boyfriends Laurie had had were never like other people’s relationships. She always just assumed she wasn’t meant for that stuff. But yet here she was imagining a future with a Russian defector.

God, she was _fucked_.

“Did they jump out? Why’s it suddenly so quiet?” Laurie heard Jim ask, breaking the mood. 

Laurie coughed uncomfortably and quickly turned back in her seat to look out of her side of the car, letting Alexei’s hand drop from hers. “Jim, has anyone ever told you that you have the tact of a fucking rabid dog?” Laurie yelled over the sound of the wind.

“Hop!” Joyce admonished him. “Leave them be.”

Jim shot back some snotty ass retort and then the pair were off, arguing once more as Murray and Alexei started speaking in Russian to each other. Laurie sighed, pushing it all out of her mind. She closed her eyes and focused on the wind hitting her face. She had to calm down before she really made a fool out of herself in front of Alexei.

Why was she sitting here imagining a life with a man she literally just met a few hours ago?

This is why she didn’t fall in love. It’s insane.

The sound of Murray suddenly yelling was enough to bring Laurie out of her daydream. She turned her head to watch Murray throw himself off his seat and up between the front seats to yell. To do so, he had to lean over Alexei. The poor guy moved away from Murray quickly, unintentionally leaning back into Laurie’s chest in his haste to get out of Murray’s way. His hand landed on her knee to steady himself and the back of his head was just inches from Laurie’s face. She could smell the sweat on him and his curls were tickling the end of her nose.

They both froze as they realized they were touching quite intimately.

Her heart seemed to jump into her throat and Laurie held her breath, waiting for whatever would happen next. Thankfully, Murray was too busy yelling at Jim and Joyce about something ( _was he yelling at them to have sex?_ Laurie thought) to notice the other two people in the car.

To Laurie’s surprise, Alexei seemed to relax into her after a moment. He moved over enough that he wasn’t leaning back into her chest anymore and so his head was almost on her shoulder (except he was just a little taller than her). He never looked to her, to Laurie’s gratefulness, and instead led his head rest on the seat while he watched Murray continue to yell.

Laurie wanted to reciprocate. She wanted to _touch_ him in some way to show him that she felt it to, to press herself into his back, but she was scared. What if this wasn’t what she thought? What if Russians were just like this? Who’s to say he wanted to be this close to her? That it was about her, not just about Murray acting like an asshole?

So she stayed exactly as she was, awkwardly, waiting as Murray’s diatribe died out and he pushed himself back into his seat.

“ _What was that about?_ ” Alexei asked, deftly moving his hand from Laurie’s knee before Murray could see. He moved over slightly, just enough to make it seem to anyone looking that he didn’t mean to be on top of Laurie, but she could still feel his body heat.

She could still smell his sweat and good God why was she so turned on by his sweat?

Murray translated, keeping it to a brief “ _I told them to have sex._ ”

Laurie tried not to groan out loud. Murray was absolutely fucking insane.

“ _They have not had sex?_ ” Alexei asked.

“ _No._ ”

The two men looked at each other and began to laugh hysterically while Laurie was grimacing behind Alexei. 

What was so funny about this?

And then Alexei held up two fingers to Murray, making their laughter double.

It took Laurie a split second to figure Alexei’s miming and she felt herself recoil in horror. What kind of person would just casually laugh about _that_? The Russian man was clearly comfortable with Murray already and had no shame about joking about a very intimate sex act.

She turned away from the laughing men to look out into the night, her cheeks hot with embarrassment. And it definitely didn’t help the situation that Alexei had spread his legs open, his knee hitting hers once again, their thighs touching as well. Her imagination was working overtime, making her feel like they were touching skin to skin. But they weren’t.

Why couldn’t this car ride fucking end already? She was being tortured and it just wasn’t fair.

Laurie was becoming utterly, and horribly, aware of one thing: she really needed to get laid.

Maybe she’d get lucky and die tonight. That would certainly end her torture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I follow  
> My feelings  
> But it won't get me nowhere  
> I pass for a lonely person  
> It's all that I have got to show for
> 
> Travel the world  
> Nothing seems to move no matter  
> What I do or don't  
> Travel the world  
> Everything I touch is breaking  
> Withers just like you


	5. Black Luck

Save for Alexei and Murray going over things in Russian, the rest of the car ride went by silently. It wasn’t entirely uneventful, however, as Alexei made sure that some part of his body was always touching Laurie’s. And for some reason, it kept a smile on Laurie’s face, knowing that he seemed to be intentionally keeping physical contact.

So much for not flirting.

Laurie dozed off slightly, resting her head on the side of the car, rocking awake whenever they hit a pothole in the road. Eventually, there was a gaggle of bright lights ahead and Laurie could just make out the sounds of a typical American fair.

They drove through the parking lot looking for a spot and as soon as Jim found one, he parked the car and yelled at Murray to stay.

“You,” Jim said, pointing at Laurie, but speaking gently, “watch Smirnoff,” he ordered.

Laurie leaned her elbow on the side of the car and stared, boredom etched on her face. “Alexei,” she corrected him before Joyce could.

“Whatever,” he threw up his hands and took off with Joyce.

“I can help,” Murray said dejectedly as Jim and Joyce headed off. 

Laurie stared off into the parking lot for a moment, her back to the fair. “You hate kids, Murray,” she said. “You hate crowds.” She sat up and looked across the car at the man. “You kind of hate everything.”

Murray flipped her off in response.

Laurie smiled and looked at Alexei who was half-smiling at Laurie, though not understanding the conversation. “Murray is a dick,” she told him, winking.

Alexei’s smile spread across his face, Laurie enjoying the lines in cheeks at his large smile, and he nodded. She liked to see him smile and sitting right next to him, even in the dark, she couldn’t help but stare. His cheeks pushed up, causing cute little wrinkles around his eyes. Laurie wondered if he understood what she had said or if he just liked the interaction with her.

She was staring. _Stop staring_ , she told herself. Coughing, Laurie moved, pushing the front seat up so she could get to her bag on the floor. Laurie climbed over the side of the car and put her bag on the trunk. 

Murray turned around in the backseat and watched as she opened her bag and pulled out a vest, setting it down next to her bag. “Make sure he wears it,” Laurie told Murray. “No matter how uncomfortable, he better wear it."

Murray nodded and told Alexei, who had also turned around the seat to watch Laurie, what she had said. He frowned, but nodded himself.

“ _To stay safe,_ ” he acquiesced.

Laurie smiled softly, but immediately found herself yawning. Her day had started at 5am and it was starting to catch up to her.

“Take a nap,” Murray ordered in a rare moment of kindness. He began to climb out of the car. “ _Come on, Alexei._ ” Murray landed on his feet and walked around the end of the car. “Get some sleep, we’ll go over the plans again. We’ll definitely need you on your A game, hmm?”

Laurie thought it over for a moment. She didn’t want to sleep, but she definitely knew Murray had a point. Alexei climbed out of the car through the driver seat and joined the other two at the trunk of the car. He walked around Laurie, reaching out to lightly brush the small of her back. Laurie sucked in a breath, freezing in place.

Murray, in another rare moment, mistook her freezing at Alexei’s touch as apprehension to get some sleep. “Look, here,” Murray grabbed the vest and held it up to Alexei. “ _Put it on so she’ll take a nap._ ”

Alexei looked confused for a moment before he reached for it. As he reached with his right hand, his left hand fell from her back and Laurie immediately missed the feeling.

“Uh, no. Under the shirt,” Laurie ordered, looking between the two men. She coughed slightly, her nervousness showing.

“ _She, uh, she wants it under your shirt,_ ” Murray explained to the further confused Alexei. 

Laurie hoped the men couldn’t see her blush as Alexei began unbuttoning his dirty shirt. He pulled it off, a white, and also dirty, undershirt beneath it. Alexei handed the shirt to an annoyed Murray who then again tried to hand him the vest.

“Um, no!” Laurie said again, stopping them again. “Everyone will see it beneath that shirt. It’s gotta go all the way under,” she pushed, completely realizing what it meant and yet, the Agent in her took over. If the Russian Terminator, who was apparently named Grigori, saw Alexei in a vest, he would probably shoot him in the head.

Murray grunted. “You….you want him to take his other shirt off?” he asked, incredibly incredulous and annoyed. 

“Come on, Murray! If Grigori knows he’s wearing a vest, he’ll shoot him in the head. If we can hide it, maybe we can keep Alexei alive.” She snapped her fingers at Alexei. “Both shirts.”

The paranoid man sighed ridiculously loudly and translated for the still confused Alexei. “ _She thinks it’s best if you put the vest under both shirts._ ”

Alexei looked from Murray to Laurie and she struggled to keep his stare without blushing any further. She called on all of her Agent training. She had gone undercover before, surely she could pretend to not be turned on?

The Russian held Laurie’s stare for a moment longer and then began to pull of his undershirt, not breaking the stare until he had to pull the shirt over his head. Laurie stood there, hands on her hips, trying not to dip her stare to look at his naked chest. She mostly averted her eyes. Mostly. The shirt off, he handed it to Laurie, who reluctantly took it. Murray silently watched the exchange and when Alexei held his hand out wordlessly, the man handed over the vest.

Laurie waited as Alexei clumsily put the vest on, having to break his staring contest with the woman again as he fumbled with the straps. But once it was on, he looked up. “ _Good?_ ”

She almost spoke, but remembered her ongoing ruse, and waited for Murray to translate.

“He’s asking if its okay.”

Laurie nodded. “Perfect.” She held out his undershirt and continued to watch as he redressed, slipping the shirt on and then taking his other shirt and buttoning it on over the vest and the undershirt. Once he was fully dressed again, Laurie allowed herself the opportunity to look him over once. “A little bulky, but it’ll keep him alive.” _I hope._

With another deep sigh, Laurie turned to Murray. “Now I’ll nap.” Laurie turned on her heel and walked around the car before crawling in and laying face first on the backseat, breathing in the leather of the Toddfather, her eyes squeezed shut as a mantra began flowing through her head _Don’t dream about Alexei_.

She could hear the men began to talk about the experiment and the bunker, but Laurie tuned them out. She really did need to get some sleep before Jim and Joyce came back.

As she drifted off, her mantra seemed only to make sure that Laurie dreamed about Alexei. She dreamt about his naked chest; the slight touch of hair he had on his stomach leading down to his pants…how toned he was despite the fact he was a scientist. Laurie wondered if they kept a gym down in the bunker for the Russians living down there.

She imagined what it might feel like to touch his chest...would he like it if she ran her fingers down his chest…all the way down…

And then she jerked awake before she could touch his chest in her dream. Laurie sat up on the seat, embarrassed to find she was drooling slightly. Her dream hadn’t even been that good, for fuck’s sake; she hadn’t even touched him, just watched him take his shirt off again and again.

As she wiped the drool off her chin, Laurie noticed it was quiet. She whipped around.

“FUCKING MURRAY!” she yelled when she noticed Murray and Alexei were gone. She quickly stood up on the seat and began looking around, climbing onto the back of the car as she did so. Where could they have gone? Did the Russian get them both? But where were the bodies then? Would the Russian just kidnap Alexei or kill him outright?

A million thoughts went through her mind as she looked around.

_**The fair.** _

Laurie scrambled down the back of the car and began booking it towards the busy fair. Murray would be dumb enough to take Alexei there. What if Grigori was already here?

Fear coursed through her body which was quickly followed by the horrible realization that her gun was still in her bag. “Fuck,” she cursed at herself too loudly as she entered the fair, ignoring the looks of suburban families.

Inside the fair, Laurie was overwhelmed by her choices. How on earth was she going to find Alexei in this mess? She picked a path and began making her way through the obnoxiously loud Fourth of July faith, pushing through families. Every noise set her on edge, every scream made her search desperately for the source.

“Hey watch out!” a teenager yelled at Laurie as she pushed past.

She ignored the kid because yards away from her was a familiar dirty shirt walking further away from her.

“Alyosha!” Laurie yelled. But there was no way her voice would carry over the loud noises of the busy fair. She took off as fast as she could, but there were so many people in her way. “Move!” she yelled as she ran, but nobody cared.

Nobody cared that somebody’s life was in the balance.

She kept running. She was so close. “Alyosha!” she yelled once again. 

To her delight, Alexei heard her. She smiled in relief as the younger man turned around, holding a comically large plush Woody Woodpecker in his arms, but something was wrong. He stumbled to the side the plush falling from his arms. Murray was suddenly at Alexei’s back, helping the man stand.

“What’s wrong? What happened?” Laurie asked quickly as she skidded to a stop in front of Alexei, looking him over. Alexei stumbled even more, collapsing to his knees as Murray tried to hold him up. Laurie finally saw the problem. Two bullet holes in his chest. The vest had helped, she guessed by the lack of blood, but she knew that a vest didn’t make it painless.

“My chest,” Alexei whispered painfully as Laurie and Murray began moving him out of the main fairway. 

Laurie looked over at Murray. “Find Joyce and Jim! We’ve got to get him to a hospital!” 

“But the vest?” Murray questioned, still holding onto Alexei as they moved behind a tent.

“It stopped the bullets from going through, but it hit him on his sternum Murray! He could have a broken sternum. The bone could have punctured his heart. We need to leave now!” she yelled his face, a mixture of concern and anger. They didn’t have time for this!

“Okay, I’m going!” he said, letting go of Alexei and stumbling out of view.

Alexei fell into Laurie’s arms and she helped him to the ground. “ _Shh, Alyosha. You’re going to be okay, just breath slowly._ ”

“ _You…you speak Russian?_ ” he questioned, sweat beading on his forehead.

Laurie smiled down at him and wiped his hair off his forehead. “ _I do. I thought it would be funny to pretend I didn’t._ ”

Alexei managed a smile. “ _Your accent is very good._ ” He started coughing, clearly in a lot of pain.

Laurie was worried. She had been shot before both in a vest and not. The vest might stop the bullet from ripping through you, but that didn’t mean it was pain free. And if it hit in the wrong place, it could still be bad.

The Russian, whom Laurie had never noticed, had managed a perfect shot. And if Alexei hadn’t been wearing the vest he would most certainly be dead already. At least that was something Laurie could work with.

“ _We need to get the vest off,_ ” Laurie said, beginning to shakily unbutton his shirt. She took deep breaths, trying to remember her training to be calm. She could do this.

Alexei’s smile grew. “ _This isn’t how I envisioned you taking off my shirt for the first time,_ ” he joked.

Unable to help herself, Laurie blushed. She pulled off his shirt carefully, wincing when he groaned in pain. “ _I’m sorry, Alyosha,_ ” she said as she reached under his undershirt and undid the Velcro at the shoulders. She then moved down to the right side to do the same, her fingers brushing over the two bullets still in his chest. 

“ _I’m sorry we left you,_ ” he said, frowning and then crying out in pain when Laurie pulled the vest down.

“ _Sorry, sorry, sorry,_ ” she apologized before tossing the vest to the side. She lifted his shirt to look at where he had been shot. “Shit, shit, shit,” she cussed as she stared at a huge and ugly bruise forming over his sternum.

“ _Is it bad?_ ” he asked.

She gulped. She had seen internal bleeding before. This wasn’t good.

“Here, here!” Laurie heard Murray say. Joyce and Murray rounded around the corner of the tent and found them on the ground.

“Oh my God, Alexei!” Joyce said, falling to her knees. She looked at Laurie. “How bad is it?”

“We need to get him to the hospital now!” Laurie said urgently. She looked around. “Where’s Jim?”

“He was leading the Russians away!” Joyce told her.

Laurie groaned. “We have to get Alexei out of here now! He’s probably bleeding internally and he might have damage to his heart. We can’t wait!”

Joyce nodded and she moved out of the way as Murray helped Laurie get Alexei to his feet. Together, they hurried from the fair, heading back to the parking lot. Alexei gripped her shoulder tightly as they moved, a silent communication between the two.

It felt like an eternity before they finally reached the car. Joyce started the car as Murray held the passenger seat up. Laurie tried as carefully as she could to help Alexei into the car, but he still cried out in pain. He collapsed into the backseat and Laurie hurried in after him, helping him sit up.

“ _It’s okay, Alexei. We’re on our way,_ ” Laurie said as she held him in the back seat, holding one of his hands as the other ran through his hair, trying to calm him.

He groaned in response.

Murray rounded on her from the front seat. “You. Speak. Russian?!” he screamed in a weirdly high pitched voice.

Laurie rolled her eyes. “Obviously, Murray. Did you think they would send someone who didn’t speak Russian to deal with your paranoid ass?” she shot back, the anger of the night’s events coming out.

“Well I obviously wasn’t too paranoid, was I?” Murray yelled back, gesturing to the world around them.

Laurie shrugged, turning back to Alexei, whose eyes were closing. “ _Alyosha, open your eyes. Stay awake, please,_ ” she pleaded in his ear.

He tried, turning his head so their foreheads were touching. “ _So…cold…,_ ” he said.

“Joyce!” Laurie yelled, urging the woman along.

“There’s Hop!” she said, slowing the car so the cop could get in.

_Forget him and go,_ Laurie wanted to say. But she kept her mouth shut. _Just stay with me,_ Laurie urged silently. _Stay._

“Go, Joyce, go!” Jim yelled as he threw himself into the backseat of the car, unintentionally hitting Alexei as he did. The Russian cried out and Laurie silently cursed Jim, even though he didn’t know what was going on.

“Shit, Alexei?” Jim said, noticing the man as he settled in the car.

“The bullets hit the vest but it was right over his sternum, Jim,” Laurie said, her voice starting to choke up. She moved back from Alexei and wiped his forehead again. He was sweating so much, but he kept his eyes open, his hand still gripping hers.

“Hurry Joyce!” Jim yelled, echoing Laurie’s worry even though he had just gotten into the car.

Laurie caught Jim’s eyes, frowning. He gulped as they stared at one another, both thinking the same thing.

_Please get there in time._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm knocking on the door  
> No hesitation  
> i've hidden all my black luck  
> Far away  
> You pull a gun on me now  
> You shoot me once  
> A silent song  
> Now I know I can't trust a single soul
> 
> Something happened  
> And I grew wiser  
> Why do I always  
> Tend to run  
> If I can walk right now  
> In the footsteps of someone like you  
> Cause I won't be denied


	6. The Promise

The drive to the hospital took forever. Or at least, that’s how it felt to Laurie. She held onto Alexei’s hands as tightly as she could without breaking it and found comfort in the knowledge that he was still holding onto her, still looking into her eyes as he fought to stay awake.

Joyce sped through the parking lot and pulling to a screeching stop in front of the emergency room door. Murray pushed opened the car door and ran to find a doctor while Jim helped Laurie carefully get Alexei out of the backseat.

They helped the hurt man up to the door where they were met by a nurse with a stretcher. Jim grabs Alexei’s legs as the man sits on the stretcher. Jim swings his legs up on the stretcher and backs off as the nurse and another doctor start to push it inside. Laurie turns to the trio.

“You three go. I’ll stay with Alexei,” Laurie ordered.

“Lore, Murray should stay,” Jim argued.

Laurie shook her head. “I’m FBI. I can translate and I’ll keep an eye on him and make sure no more Russians come for him. He told Murray everything you need to know, so Murray goes with you. Now go! You don’t have time for this!” she yelled. She gave Jim a quick hug and then headed off into the hospital after Alexei.

She caught up with the nurse and doctor, who had already cut off Alexei’s shirt and were starting to put an IV in. “I’m Special Agent Laurie Miller. He doesn’t speak English,” she explained as they tried to talk to Alexei and ask him what happened. Laurie pulled out her badge to show them. “I’m with the FBI. This man is.... he’s my partner. He was shot twice in the heart, but was wearing a vest.”

The Doctor nodded. “Tell him we’ll take care of him. We're going to have to take him into surgery to stop the bleeding.”

Laurie leaned over Alexei’s face. “ _You’re going to be okay. Just be calm. I’ll see you when you get out. I’ll be here,_ ” she whispered, gently caressing his forehead again.

“ _Promise?_ ” he asked, staring up at her weakly.

“ _I Promise, Alyosha._ ” She kissed his forehead and then stepped back, tears pricking her eyes as they wheeled him away to take him to surgery.

Laurie quietly followed a nurse to the waiting room. She took a seat and began impatiently waiting. She worried about Alexei and she worried about Jim. What if the trio weren’t able to get into the bunker? What if they did need her help?

Unable to sit still, Laurie stood and began to pace around the waiting room, wringing her hands together. She was normally a fairly calm person. She had been in a shootout before and kept her cool.

So why was she so freaked out about Alexei? She barely knew the guy.

And yet she was here, pacing a hospital waiting room, terrified she might never see the young Russian man again.

Taking a deep breath, Laurie sat down again and putting her heads between her knees, she took several more deep breaths and let them out. After a few minutes of this, she felt calmer. Her heart beat slowed back to normal and head became clear again.

Jim could be trusted. Murray…probably in this case was going to do what he had to. Everything was going to be okay. And Alexei was going to live.

He was. He had to.

Laurie suddenly realized she hadn’t called in to her boss all day. Dreading it, but knowing it had to be done, she headed for a payphone and dialed her boss back in St. Louis. Adam James was a bitch of a human being, but who in his position wasn’t? Laurie didn’t know a single department head in the FBI that was nice. 

“Do you fucking know what time it is?” he cussed once she identified herself.

“I’m very aware, sir. But I haven’t called in…”

“No, you fucking haven’t. You better have a fucking good reason why.”

“It’s been a very quick series of events and lots of driving.” Laurie took a deep breath and began explaining, starting with arriving at Murray’s and finding Alexei and getting all the way up to Alexei getting shot. She left out some of the weird stuff regarding another dimension. Adam, to his credit, listened quietly to the entire story.

“And you promised him he could be a citizen if he helped?”

“I promised him I’d help him defect if he helped, which he did.”

“Sounds like he got himself shot to me.”

An uncomfortable feeling grew in Laurie’s gut. She gulped nervously. “If he hadn’t given Chief Hopper the information, they wouldn’t have even known there was a secret Russian bunker underneath the fucking mall in Hawkins!” Laurie knew getting angry wouldn’t help, but God damn if she wasn’t going to fight for Alexei. He _had_ helped.

“Don’t you fucking yell at me, Miller. You’re on thin fucking ice.”

Gritting her teeth and grimacing as much as she could without causing herself physical pain, Laurie held the phone away from her face and silently grumbled at the pay phone. She took a deep breath and then brought the phone back to her ear. “Sorry, sir. What I mean, is that Dr. Alexei has provided us with priceless information that has led to uncovering a dangerous Russian mission here on U.S. soil.”

“And is the fucking Hawkins Police Department the only law enforcement involved in this?” he questioned.

“No, sir.” Laurie grimaced again, knowing what was coming next. “The Department of Energy is also involved?”

“The Department of-…are you fucking kidding me? You disturbed me at eleven o’clock on fucking Fourth of July to tell me that the fucking Department of Energy and Hawkins fucking Police Department are fucking uncovering a goddamn Russian plot to infiltrate and destroy our country?”

_Well, when you say it that way…,_ Laurie thought. “Um, I suppose so, sir. The FBI was also involved, too, you know…because of me. But yes…the Department of Energy.” She went quiet as her boss began screaming nonsense on the other end of the phone.

She was definitely not getting a promotion.

“Who- _the fuck_ \- at the Department of Energy is involved in this shit show, exactly? Or do you not know that?”

“That would be Dr. Sam Owens, sir.”

Adam breathed heavily, and quite angrily, into the phone. “I want you back in St. Louis first thing in the morning and I want that Russian deported. Call the Indy office now and let them know.”

“Sir!” Laurie protested.

“This is _bullshit_ , Miller. _None_ of this sounds legitimate. _You are being played._ Congratulations.” He went quiet for a moment as the anger and embarrassment began to fill Laurie. “I thought you were a better agent than this.”

A dial tone quickly followed his insult. Laurie stood there for a moment with the phone still at her ear, the familiar horrible feeling of sadness that was welling up in her chest. With a sob, Laurie slammed the phone back on the receiver and went back to where she was sitting.

This was why she hadn’t called anyone earlier. There was no way that the FBI would believe any of this was happening and they wouldn’t have acted soon enough.

If she didn’t go back to St. Louis in the morning, if she didn’t contact the Indianapolis FBI to tell them to get Alexei deported, she would most certainly not get the promotion and she very well might get fired. If she tried to wait to get information from this Dr. Owens, to get proof, she would likely still get in trouble at work.

What was she supposed to do? The FBI had been her life for fourteen years. What would she do if she lost her job or got demoted? A few more years and she could retire.

But Alexei…

If she had the FBI deport him, Alexei was certainly dead. The Russian government had already tried to kill him once. He needed to be protected.

He needed to _stay_.

“FUCK!” Laurie yelled, standing up from the seat to scream down at the floor. 

“Excuse me!” A receptionist snapped at Laurie. "This is a quiet place!"

She threw her hands up at the woman and sat back down, putting her head in her hands. This was an impossible situation. Potentially lose her job (or worse. What if Adam accused her of working with the Russians?) or get Alexei killed.

What a choice.

Laurie crossed her arms and leaned her head back, squeezing her eyes shut. Before she knew it, she had nodded off, waking suddenly when someone lightly touched her arm. Laurie startled, grabbing the arm of the person who had touched her.

“Sorry,” she apologized when she realized it was just the doctor.

He frowned, but nodded. “Your friend is out of surgery and he’s doing well. Part of his sternum broke off with the force of the bullets and embedded into this heart, causing the internal bleeding you saw. Luckily, it wasn’t in there too far and we were able to remove the broken bone pieces, stop the bleeding, and seal it all up. We’ll want to keep him for a few days, but he should be okay.”

Laurie let out a breath that she didn’t realize she was holding. “Thank you. Can I see him?” 

The Doctor nodded and gestured for her to follow him. Laurie walked down the white hospital halls, her mind still trying to come out with a way she could keep Alexei in the country and keep her job.

They finally came to the room that Alexei was in and Laurie stood in the doorway, taking a few deep breaths. There was no reason she had to tell Alexei anything right now.

The Russian was still unconscious, unsurprisingly. Laurie walked up to the side of the bed and took his hand in her own, squeezing gently. She stared down at his face. He looked different without his glasses. He was still handsome, for sure, but the boyish charm was missing. There was some more mature about him without the glasses. Something harder.

She didn’t like it.

Laurie found his glasses on the side table and quickly put them on.

There. _That_ was Alexei.

With her free hand, Laurie reached up and ran her hands through his hair. After watching him for a minute, she reluctantly pulled her hands away from him. She grabbed the nearby chair and pulled it right up to the bed. Grabbing his hand once again, Laurie then laid her head on the bed next to his arm, closed her eyes, and drifted off again.

Her dreams were not good.

She dreamt that Alexei had never put on the vest and that she had found him, after wandering a packed fair for what felt like hours, bleeding on the ground, everyone just wandering around him, ignoring him. And no matter how hard she fought through the crowd, she could never get to Alexei. Never touch him.

Never save him.

Once again, Laurie jerked awake. She checked all of Alexei’s machines, making sure he was still alive and breathing, before she sighed in relief. He was okay.

She stood up again, unable to stop herself, and leaned over Alexei to kiss his forehead, tears welling up in her eyes.

How could she possibly choose her job over him? She had only known him for a day and yet the idea of being selfish and saving her job made her feel like a traitor.

“ _Why do you cry, lyubimaya?_ ” a croaky voice asked. She felt a weak hand touch her head and Laurie gasped as she moved back from Alexei’s face.

“Alyosha!” she called out, tears now spilling down her cheeks. “ _You’re awake!_ ” She pressed soft kisses all over his forehead and cheeks.

“ _I am fine?_ ” he said. Laurie wasn’t entirely sure it was a question or a statement.

“ _The Doctor said your sternum was broken and some pieces went into your heart, so there was bleeding, but it’s okay now! You’re going to be fine,_ ” she said, lowering her voice as she realized she was almost yelling into the poor man’s face. 

Alexei smiled up at her, though slightly weakly, which made her smile even bigger. “ _You stayed._ ” He ran a finger down the side of her face.

“ _I promised,_ ” she whispered as she leaned down over him, their noses touching, lips just inches apart. “ _I promised._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bruises they are fading  
> Fading into yesterday  
> Just like time is never waiting  
> The pain remains the same
> 
> I can hear the promise of a broken man  
> Looking for love across a desert land  
> People never make it on their own  
> There's a place in my that I just will not go  
> Oh brother do or dare  
> Half of me is breaking me in despair  
> People never make it on their own  
> When the raging rivers flow


	7. Save the World (You Couldn't)

Alexei didn’t seem to like that there was still distance between his and Laurie’s lips. His head came off the pillow, his lips pushing into hers. Laurie knew she shouldn’t, but she pushed back, enjoying the feeling of their lips pressed together.

How long had it been since she had been kissed?

She pulled back once, but missed the feeling of his lips against her and kissed him again. But she knew she had something she had to do, so Laurie gave Alexei one more quick kiss and then straightened up. He started to frown, but Laurie smiled down at him. “ _You need rest. I need to check in on the others. You’re safe here._ ”

“ _But what if they find me here?_ ” he asked, his brow creasing as he contemplated being shot again.

" _Jim took care of Grigory. They think they killed you. You’re safe, Alexei. I promise,_ ” she said. “ _Just rest and I’ll be here when you wake up._ ” Laurie leaned down again and kissed him once more. She could definitely get used to this.

Alexei seemed to begrudgingly accept this and laid his head back on the pillow. “ _Be safe._ ”

She gently ran through his hair one last time and then turned to leave, a part of her not wanting to leave the room, but she knew Alexei was safe; it was time to check on Jim and Murray.

It took longer than she would have liked to get a taxi to take her to the Starcourt Mall. As she waited for her ride to show up, Laurie considered just going back to up to Alexei’s room. But before she finally decided to go back inside, the taxi showed up.

Laurie could tell something was wrong before they were even close to the mall. There was smoke in the air and a lot of lights that she could see from miles away. The cabbie didn’t want to get too close, and there were already cops blocking the entrances into the parking lot, so Laurie had to pay cabbie and get out of the car.

After flashing her badge to the cops and soldiers around, Laurie headed towards the epicenter of the drama: the mall.

The parking lot was full of cops, soldiers, and what Laurie could only assume was the fucking Department of Energy. She made her way through the maze of people, flashing her badge again and again as people tried to stop her efforts.

“Laurie?” she heard someone call her name.

She turned on her heel, stopping her progress and looked around. Her eyes flitted from face to face, not recognizing anyone until finally she saw him.

“Murray!” Laurie shouted and ran towards him. He was wearing what looked like a Russian military outfit. When she reached him, she threw her arms around him, hugging the paranoid man. “Jesus, Murray. What did you do?” she asked.

He hugged her back, seemingly surprised by the response. “It’s a long story.” They pulled away from each other. “Alexei?”

Laurie smiled, clapping him on each shoulder. “ _Our little Russian is going to be just fine. Surgery went well and he’s resting._ ” She looked around, looking for any sign of Joyce or Jim. “Where’s the others? Did they find their kids?”

Murray was silent and she looked back at him, noticing the look of sadness on his face. Murray never looked sad.

“Murray?” she pressed, confused.

“Jim…I’m sorry Laurie, but Jim didn’t make it.”

Her hands fell from his arms as his words set in. Jim didn’t make it. But Jim Hopper…Jim was a badass, how could he not have made it?

“But…Murray, that doesn’t make any sense,” she finally said, her brain feeling like it had slowed down immensely. It just didn’t make _sense_.

“I’m so sorry,” he repeated.

A ball welled up in her chest, rising from her stomach, through her heart, and into the base of her throat. Murray stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her awkwardly, but firmly. She resisted at first, but let herself be enveloped by his grasp. Laurie set her head down on his shoulder and let the tears start to fall. Her body shook as she sobbed.

She never really loved Jim. He was only ever her brother-in-law and she didn’t figure that was part of the deal, but she had liked him at one point or another. He had been her sister’s love. Her niece’s father.

He had his problems, sure, but hadn’t Jim Hopper always been a good father?

He didn’t deserve this, certainly. He didn’t deserve to die.

And they had never gotten to speak. Never gotten to really clear the air. 

She had never gotten the chance to tell him that Sara’s death wasn’t his fault.

“But Jim…”

“Oh Laurie…” Joyce said quietly as she came up beside them. Laurie didn’t have a chance to lift her head before another pair of arms, much smaller than Murray’s, had wrapped around her as well.

“Joyce?” Laurie asked through her sobs, double checking her initial suspicion.

“I’m here,” she said in her very comforting mom voice. “I’m so sorry about Jim. I know you two weren’t close, but he was still family. I’m so sorry.”

The trio stood there, holding one another, as Laurie let herself cry over a dead ex-brother-in-law.

“Was it worth it?” she finally asked in a quiet voice, her crying subsiding. "Did it mean something?"

“The world is saved. For now,” Joyce answered.

Laurie didn’t like the sound of that.

“Is this…is this something I should know about?” a man asked.

The trio pulled apart to look at who was talking to them. Laurie saw an older man standing there, looking quite official. She looked questioningly at Murray, raising an eyebrow. He shrugged slightly.

“Oh, this is the Dr. Owen we were talking about,” Joyce said, filling the other two in. Joyce pulled completely off of Laurie and Murray. “Dr. Owen, this is Murray Bauman and Special Agent Laurie Miller with the FBI.” Laurie realized that Joyce was also wearing a Russian military uniform.

Laurie moved out of Murray’s grasp and held her hand out to the Doctor. “Nice to finally meet you,” she said.

Dr. Owen took her hand and shook it. “And you. Joyce says you have a Russian scientist in your custody?”

She nodded. “Dr. Alexei Petrov is at the hospital recovering from surgery to remove bone from his heart.”

“And what does the FBI want to do with this Russian scientist?”

Frowning, Laurie shook her head. “My orders are to turn him back over to the Russians.” The reminder made Jim's death hurt more. Even if the world had been saved, was this really a happy ending?

“What?” Murray and Joyce yelled at the same time. Murray grumbled something about typical American government.

“The FBI is of the opinion that none of this is real. That we were played. They don’t want anything to do with the Russian or Hawkins or this. I’m to return to St. Louis immediately and forget this ever happened.”

Owens stared at Laurie. She couldn’t tell if he was sizing her up or what. “I think, Special Agent Miller, that that sounds like a good idea,” he finally said.

“ _WHAT?_ ” Joyce shouted, even louder.

He held up a hand. “I think Agent Miller can hand Dr. Alexei over. And I think she should go back to St. Louis and forget this happened.”

Laurie understood what he meant. She wouldn’t be handing Alexei over the Indy office, but to Owens. They would help him defect and get him citizenship. The FBI didn’t have to know. As far as her boss could be concerned, the Russian was sent back to Russia.

Maybe this way she could keep her job and Alexei wouldn’t get killed.

But would she ever see him again?

Laurie nodded regretfully. “I think you’re right, Dr. Owens.” She took a step closer to him, leaning in. “He becomes a citizen. He stays safe. That’s the deal.” Laurie leaned back, watching his face closely.

Owens nodded after a moment, regarding her carefully. “Deal.”

She nodded again. “Okay. Okay.” 

After a moment, Dr. Owens left them alone, promising to take good care of Alexei. It didn’t make Laurie feel any better, but what could she do?

“Do you want to meet El?” Joyce asked.

“I don’t know. It’s kind of complicated, right? And I didn’t know Jim that well.” Laurie shook her head. What could she say to this kid? “No, I’m going back to the hospital. Alexei shouldn’t be alone any longer. Besides, I’ve got to be back in St. Louis. I want to say goodbye to Alexei.”

Laurie hugged Joyce tightly, telling the woman to take care of herself. She gave her her card, just in case, and then turned to Murray. “Consider your information deleted,” she told him.

His forehead creased in confusion.

“I don’t know how it’ll get deleted. I certainly won’t pull a favor from a guy in tech, but poof. So if you want to stay in Sesser, it’ll be fine,” Laurie said, pulling the paranoid man into a hug. “Be safe, Murray. _Keep an eye on Alexei, if they’ll let you._ ”

“I will.”

She gave him one last squeeze, surprised by how much the past few hours had made her care about this crazy man, and then she let him go and headed back towards the edge of the parking lot to go back to the hospital.

She had to say her goodbyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope  
> That's the thing with feathers  
> It perches in the soul  
> Like a rocket  
> And sings the tune without the words, and never stops  
> Never stops at all  
> Never stops at all
> 
> You couldn't save the world if you wanted to  
> You couldn't change the world or me if you needed to  
> You couldn't save the world if you wanted to  
> You couldn't change the world  
> If you don't mind me saying so


	8. A Change is Gonna Come

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long! I've been busy getting ready for a Comic Con that was last weekend and now I'm still trying to clean up. Hopefully it won't take me as long to get you chapter 9!

The cop dropped Laurie off at the front entrance and she strolled into the hospital, wringing her hands as she thought of how to say goodbye. Maybe Alexei would still be asleep and she could just leave.

But could she really leave without saying goodbye?

Hell, could she leave at all?

As she came closer to the room he was in, her steps slowed, trepidation taking over. The sadness of Jim’s death came back, mixing with the fear of losing Alexei.

But she hardly knew the man. How could she be so attached to him already? He was just a man. _Just a man._

So why was she so willing to _stay_? To give up her fourteen year career that she had worked so hard for?

Tears dripped down her cheeks. It was an impossible choice and no matter what she did, she feared she would be unhappy.

Laurie allowed herself another minute to cry freely, then she wiped away the tears and steeled herself. It wouldn’t be good to walk in already crying. Once her breathing had returned to relatively normal and her cheeks were dry, Laurie pushed open the door and headed inside Alexei’s room.

The Russian was asleep. He was still wearing his glasses and looked slightly silly sleeping in his glasses, but she knew that was her fault. He looked so peaceful when he slept, like the world hadn’t almost ended tonight.

Like he almost hadn’t died.

Laurie pulled off her jacket and folded it before setting it on the chair that was still up against the bed. She reached into her pants pocket and pulled her badge out of her back pocket and set it on top of her jacket. Gingerly and as carefully as she could, Laurie climbed into bed with Alexei, lying on her side beside him. She reminded herself of his injury and so as much as she would have wanted to put her head on his chest, inside she settled for his shoulder. She pulled his right hand up on his stomach and held it with her own.

Then she closed her eyes and let herself dream of a future with Alexei.

She was awoken by the feeling of fingers on her face and the touch of dry lips to her forehead.

“Alyosha,” she whispered into his shoulder.

He squeezed her hand. “ _Lyubimaya._ ” Beloved. Darling. Things she was not. “ _Are the others okay?_ ”

“ _Joyce found her children and the others. Murray is okay,_ ” she trailed off, sucking in her breath, unable to say the words out loud. “Jim…” she whispered.

“ _He did not make it?_ ” Alexei finished for her.

She couldn’t voice it. She couldn’t find the words.

Alexei didn’t say anything more, but shifted so he could wrap his arms around her, pulling her closer to his chest. Laurie tried to avoid leaning near his heart and instead buried her face in the crook of his neck.

They laid there for a while, joined and connected in a way that Laurie hadn’t been in so long. Was that the reason she had fallen for Alexei so quickly? Because she was so starved for affection?

And yet, that seemed like an insult to the sweet Russian.

“ _I have to go back home,_ ” she whispered.

“ _Home?_ ”

“ _St. Louis. My boss wants me back this morning._ ”

Alexei shifted slightly. “ _But what about me?_ ”

“ _Jim & Joyce’s friend Dr. Owens is going to help you. He’s going to keep you safe and get you citizenship._”

“ _But-_ ,” Alexei shifted out from under her, leaning on his arm as he breathed painfully. “ _but what about you? What will happen?_ ”

Laurie couldn’t meet his eyes. “ _The FBI refused to help. I’m sorry Alexei, but I have to go back to work. I can’t help you anymore._ ” She could feel his eyes on her, but she just couldn’t look up. She couldn’t stand to see the hurt in his eyes after everything that had happened. “ _I’m sorry._ ”

“ _But will I see you again?_ ”

She finally looked up at him. There wasn’t hurt in his eyes. Sadness. He was going to miss her. _He wanted_ to be with her.

Smiling, Laurie reached up and stroked his cheek. “ _It might take some time, but if you want, you’ll absolutely see me again._ ”

Alexei leaned over her and kissed her lips softly. “ _I want to see you every day,_ ” he whispered, his lips brushing hers.

Laurie giggled as he kissed her again. “ _It’ll take time, but it can happen._ ” She hoped, at least. She had no idea where he would go and if Dr. Owens would let her see him again.

Alexei laid back down, his breathing labored from pain. 

She didn’t want to leave, but her boss had left her with little choice. And what kind of person would give up her job for a man after one day? 

She would see Alexei again.

His breathing slowed as he drifted off again. Laurie waited as long as she dared and then she slowly pulled herself out of his grasp, kissing him gently one last time, and then she gathered her things and left. She didn’t allow herself the opportunity to look back.

Gathering herself, Laurie left the hospital and got a cab to a rental car service. She drove back to Sesser and took a cab to Murray’s place where she found her car still waiting for her.

Laurie stared at Murray’s home/bunker and thought back to the last 24 hours. So much had happened. So few hours had changed her life.

Or had it?

When she went back to St. Louis, would she forget Alexei? Would she bide her time until she could find him again?

Maybe none of it mattered.

Maybe all of it mattered, every second.

Sighing, Laurie climbed into her car and made the long drive back to St. Louis to face her boss. Maybe he’d be kind and fire her and she could immediately return to Alexei and disappear with him.

As she drove, her mind went through every possibility, torturing herself with the “what ifs”. When she arrived back at the FBI office in downtown St. Louis, still in the same clothes from the day before, it wasn’t technically morning anymore. And certainly not first thing in the morning. She rubbed deodorant on her armpits and sprayed herself with some perfume she had in her glove box and then headed inside.

The office was busy, but no more so than usual. It was like they had no idea what had happened in Hawkins. No idea of what a group of kids had stopped.

No idea of what Laurie had been through.

As she walked up to her desk, a coworker told her their boss, Adam James, had been waiting for her. Laurie took a moment to collect herself and then she headed down the hallway to his office.

“About time you got back,” he snapped when she walked into his office.

“It’s a long drive,” she said in a monotone voice, seating herself in a chair in front of his desk.

She had hardly sat down before he tossed a newspaper at her chest. She caught it and looked at the main headline of the morning paper. A fire at the Starcourt Mall in Hawkins, Indiana had taken the life of the Sheriff. Laurie fought back tears as she stared at the small photo of Jim.

“So much for a Russian conspiracy.”

“Jim Hopper is my brother-in-law,” Laurie found herself snapping at her boss, glaring up at him. He steeled, clearly not expecting that. “His death is a tragedy, regardless of how it occurred.”

Agent James frowned. “I’m sorry, Agent Miller.”

“And do you really think the government would let the public know that the Russians had built a secret base under a mall in midtown America?” Laurie said as she stood up and tossed the newspaper on his desk. “Regardless, what’s done is done and I am back to continue my work on the Richardson case, sir.”

She waited as he looked her over, trying to decide if it was worth it to reprimand her or not.

“Good. Get back to work.”

With a sigh, Laurie left his office and returned to her desk to force Jim and Alexei and Murray and the whole damn thing out of her mind. She needed to return to her work, mostly because she wanted to test herself. Would her “love” for Alexei diminish? Or in a week, would she still miss him?

Only time would tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You crash and you burn but you can't run away  
> The weight that you feel won't haunt you everyday  
> The world wears you down it strips you to the bone  
> Go weep in the crowd friend cause you are not alone
> 
> Your shoulders won't break from the crosses that you bare  
> I know that you hurt but I'll always be right here
> 
> Cause when the world is wearing you down  
> A change is gonna come  
> Yeah when the worlds wearing you down  
> A change is gonna come  
> Friend


End file.
